Eating Turkey

 Thanksgiving is also a time to remember those who once sat at our table with us on that Thursday...the good, the bad and yes, even the ugly. As we age, we miss them all. I won't identify which are which, as everyone has their own memories to use for those categories...

My gramma (Dad's mom) split holidays...Thanksgiving with our side and Christmas with my cousins, then flip for the following year. We had to get her a coconut custard pie every year as she didn't like cinnamon...I always made apple and pumpkin. It was easy enough to get pies without going to the bakery as there are always fundraisers during November. I've even got the frozen Mrs. Smith's for her. Her last year, we had her for Thanksgiving at our house. I had forgotten all about the gravy, and figured no one would miss it...yes, I had a freakin' coconut custard pie for her. We're all settled in, my sister Nancy came running in to say hi as she was in town to see her in-laws. Gramma asked for the gravy, of course. I had to quickly mix up some gravy for the table - easy peasy, while Nancy sat with Gramma, who ate WITHOUT the gravy on her food, which I discovered when I brought the gravy boat in to the table...then instead of her normal coconut custard, she said she'd try a slice of pumpkin! PUMPKIN! With whipped cream, of course. Once she asked for pumpkin pie, I knew she was one her way (at 104!) to another place...she was gone by January.

Nancy and Carla typically cooked Turkey Day Dinner over the years, once our parents moved to Florida. My mother-in-law joined us at Nancy's, then we also had Louie (Nancy's boyfriend for a few years). Nancy and Carla began cooking a gigantic turkey early in the morning, and as they continued with mashed potatoes and broccoli, they did shots of Jack...by the time we got there around 1 pm, they were cooking AND cooked. I brought collards, sweet potato puff, and the pies, they had made the rest of the fixings. We typically got it all on the table by 2, while Dirk carved the gigantic bird, after coaching all morning. Most years were a blast, of course. Nancy had great boobs and rarely wore a bra on Thanksgiving, so that was always a topic of conversation, even in front of Vera. 

Once Nancy left CT for SC, I took over the dinner chores. Up to 28 people were present some years, with the entire living room and den full of seating, tables and people. There were littles, bigs and elders. The kitchen was loaded with food items and the beer was on the back porch. Yes, we did shots before the carving of the bird back in the day...Vera was there, of course, along with other folks. A turkey, a ham, crescent rolls, collards, sweet potato puff and of course pies. No more coconut custard, though. Amy brought shrimp cocktail, there was cheese and crackers and even olives! 

Nancy passed just after Christmas in 2010...the following Thanksgiving was not an easy one, but we made sure we mentioned gravy (see above) and boobs as well. Mom and Dad were still in Florida till Christmas in those years....That 2011 Thanksgiving we also missed Vera, who passed in March...it was quieter, for sure. She loved to be the fly in the ointment with some folks, stirring the pot. One year, Jason (son of our friend Roland) challenged her to a card game...wearing her pink wig (chemo), she retorted she couldn't play him because she was "the only one at the table playing with a full deck"! That was added to the repertoire repeated yearly.

Mom and Dad were then with us for Thanksgiving, as they no longer went south for the Florida sun. Mom's Alzheimer's had progressed and we all were needed to help out. I had mom "help" me do the prep work...that was tricky as well, but kept her busy and involved. I learned that year that knives and mom were not a good fit...I was rolling and slicing collards and she grabbed a pile to put in the bowl...I just missed cutting her by covering the greens and slicing my own thumb...thumbs bleed a LOT. Mom stayed with us on earth for a few more years...passing before our 2014 Thanksgiving day.

We had our last Thanksgiving with Carla in 2018, although we didn't know it at the time. She always brought a bakery box, so she didn't feel badly about taking home a pumpkin pie! She loved pie, for sure. She passed right before Christmas that year.  

Over the years, we've had students at our table, many relatives, many friends. All brought something to the event - food, cheer, humor, sadness, love. 

That was the last year we hosted Thanksgiving in CT...we began going away for that weekend, leaving Wednesday after school, coming home on Sunday. Those were sad calls to make, to let everyone we would no longer host and were leaving town. It was strange to eat at a restaurant at first, by ourselves, but also somewhat adventurous. 

Moving to SC meant a whole new way of looking at the day...our first year here, we went to Savannah and celebrated with Jeremiah, going to Tybee and the pier, letting the ocean spray hit us on a balmy day. Last year, we hosted Jeremiah and Sarah, as well as Shirley Ann and Bruce, long time family/friends from CT who live in NC. A small intimate group for Sarah's first Thanksgiving. This year, it's Jeremiah and Sarah, along with Rico and Rooka. Another small intimate group. 

Traditions are wonderful ways to remember the wonderful people we have eaten turkey with over the years. Yet, it doesn't much matter what you eat, or where you do it as long as you remember those loved, those lost, those still with you. Enjoy your day, wherever you are, whoever you are with.